It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
