Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
