i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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