Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
