i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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