just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
