You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
