I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
