what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
tell me about the fingering
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