They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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