Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
