So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
