its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
