Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
