Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
