I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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