so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
