smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
