Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
