I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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