So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
