You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
