Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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