Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
