Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
