I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
