Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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