I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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