Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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