I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
