She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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