i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I currently don't understand fingers.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
