I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize