can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize