great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
