big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
