Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
