Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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