Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
