Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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