He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
