i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
