I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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