You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
