Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
