I am puke
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
