Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
