I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
