those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
