You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize