He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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