google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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