Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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