in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
