Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
