what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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