no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
