now i know why i became what i already was.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
