Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
