i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
