I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
