We won't sleep together?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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