you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
