so explain again why im purple
no
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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