There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
