I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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