I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
