girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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