I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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