Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
